A Phone Call


I was seated in front of my computer with a cup of coffee after waking up a bit late that day. I turned the window blinds, and peeped outside. It looked so bright and hot as usual days in Florida. It was pretty good day I should say as I was feeling in a mood to study. So I was enthusiastic about completing the Civilization response paper which was then due the very next day. Emails checked, news read, and profiles visited. I was all set for starting my task of the day.
I was half way through reading the thick Western Literature book: "The Norton Anthology". Time to time I read the directions (questions) given for the response paper, and tried relating to the text that I was reading. At certain points, I felt so pumped up with the information, and sometimes so totally lost inbetween. When I could find nothing relevent and interesting points that would help build my arguments, I felt of cursing the professor. But I knew, that was not the right way to go by! Then, I would proceed reading further and get engrossed into unending texts.
At that moment, my old Motorola phone rang, rather obxiously. It was my brother from Sikkim, India, giving that repeated missed-calls. As always, I quickly called him back. He sounded very sad! "Is everything alright?" I enquired, concernedly. "Yes yes. Why? I'm just not feeling sleepy tonight, thats why I'm calling you..." came the reply. Sigh. I felt very relieved to hear that, yet I couldn't trust him fully for sometimes people back at home don't usually say the truth whenever bad things happened thinking that I will get worried.
Upon repeated enquiries, he said that he was just being sad about the fact that hes not been any help to our old parents. "I know, of course, you all are looking after our parents very well so far, and I have no doubt in future as well. But as I am also their son, I equally owe them the same help that you siblings are doing to them. The problem is, I am a monk, and I have nothing that will be of any help to them," he said, sounding genuine and helpless. I quickly interrupted him, and assured him that we siblings will do anything to our parents, and that it is equally same. "Ata, we are not expecting anything from you, you being a monk itself is a great pride for us," I tried assuring him.
As our conversation continued, we became more and more emotional, and I silently cried. But I was successful in keeping it low to avoid from his notice. He has been in the monastery since he was seven years old, and now in his twenty seventh year, I can certainly notice his success as a true practitioner of Dharma. He has succeeded in grasping the religious/Buddhist principles and ethics. Every word, and talk that came out his mouth brought more sense to me, and sounded embedded of real-life meanings. I felt so proud to have my brother said so many value talks to me when I needed the most-being far away from home. I agreed everything he had to say, and assured him that he shouldn't feel shy for not able to support our parents, as I will be taking care of everything within my capacity. But my assurance didn't seem to make him feel better. He kept getting into real life situations, and the problems that we humanbeings are sucked up into in this short life.
"I feel so sorry, and sad looking at you all because unlike me, you all couldn't get the golden (rare) opportunity to practice, and devote life to sacred religion. I am fortunate for I am able to do it. But I am helpless about that, and only thing that I can do is pray for everybodys well beings," my Ata continued. That made me so sad, but like he said there is nothing that could be done at this point. I have already headed for a life full of tensions, stress, worries so and so forth to say the least. At times, religions are forgotten, and just strive to fulfill the materialistic achievements. The life is indeed so doomed!
With this and that, we had been talking for about an hour. I should say that hour-long moment was one of the most emotionally engaged moments ever. It taught me lots of real life lessons, and put in me more senses. "Tshey Nga Ma Tsho Sag Jin Sag, dang Moelam Ja Chenpo Taap Nii Sha, Otha Mitshey ga Aiee Bak Tham Chey Rang Pham dang Buzhii ann Zoom Mi Ryoe Ba gella. Tshey Chi Ma Ga La Othen Da Bu Rum Mey ga Kalo gella. Moenlam Lekpo Ta pey Kheley" - Its all because of the generations and generations of prayers and luck that we are at the present life able to meet in a family as parents and sons. Its very uncertain for the next lives. We should pray for that! That was his ending phrase, which brought me more tears in my eyes. I was being so emotionally challenged, and feeling so helpless about life. In the mean time,I had to defer the response paper for next day as I couldn't continue doing!

Comments

  1. pema... it is such a painful inner feelings that evoke me my ming while going through this write ups................ keep it up.... ur writing is such captivating and motivating

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  2. Thanks man, I couldn't script the better picture of my feelings, but yeah as I said, I had the most emotionally engaged moment in a long time!

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