A Hopeless Hope!

"Is it a dream?" No, it surely happened...!
Five months had swiftly rushed out and the day had come for the students to leave school for vacation. The day was pleasantly sunny, yet it was a horrible day in fact! Leythro was having a refreshment of cool drinks in the bar located just next to the school, with Rigdhen Namgyal, one of his closest friends and the sponsor of the drinks. When everybody was on their way rushing toward their respective villages, why he chose to hang out over drinks carried some hidden meanings, only to his knowledge.
Although he was physically present with friends, and seemingly felt refreshed with drinks, mentally he was lost in a great worry. "How can I meet her? Does she expect me to be waiting here?...?" He pondered over it again and again, yet not even hinted a slightest discomfort about friends' endless thought-provoking talks. He just wished that he wasn't with them in the first place. He had all the rights to cut short the conversation, and proceed to pursue his dream, but he didn't want to disappoint them unnecessarily. He hardly contributed any talks fearing that it would just prolong his stay there, all he did was giving a forced nod without any idea about the talks. At that moment, all he cared about was getting out of the bar, and stealing a really special moment with his girl. He could feel his heart beat racing as he saw the wall clock ticked past 2 pm.
Without even knowing how their talks ended, he was by then rushing out of the bar toward the school gate. Hastily he gazed at the several groups of students, some chatting, and some entering the shops, in a hope of catching a glance of his 'beloved' girl. She was, however, nowhere to be found around! He couldn't trust his eyes as he scrutinized even more closely and throughly into a group of approaching girls. Much to his relief, he caught sight of few familiar faces, among them, Choden, the closest friend of his 'dearest' one. As if she had already comprehended the sadness he wore on his face, Choden, rushed towards Leythro inquiring with a surprised look "Yala, why didn't you go see off Sonam? Did you meet her already?..." He couldn't believe what he just heard as he went speechless (wordless?). "Aiee......" He cursed himself for being in the bar, and not coming out on time. If only the curse could remedy the broken heart, he had made it enough. He could hardly see anybody else as he struggled to clear his blurred vision with the help of his long sleeved yellow T-shirt. He felt so defeated and crushed at that moment!
Even though, his heart was so pregnant with many things to share his now 'gone' girl, the pain that gave him in expressing those unspoken words was beyond he could carry. He couldn't converse well with his friends, who were much happier unlike him, as if his tongue got locked. Seeing his poor condition in that odd gathering, a helpless Choden urged him to follow Sonam immediately, convincing him that she might not have gone that far, and that he could catch her within no time. But Leythro declined and by then he had completely given up following her.
Pretending alright, he wished them a safe journey, and headed back to the dormitory only to be welcomed by his lone bed lying in an emptied room. The scene in his room made him cry even louder as he quickly rolled his beddings, and carried to a designated storage room. His earlier plan of spending a night there, and proceeding on the following day to his village saw a sudden change. He didn't feel like staying there after having failed to achieve his mission of the day.
Considering all those circumstances, he thought it would be wiser and better to leave that day itself. He couldn't trust himself as to what might happened in the name of crazy love. With an empty backpack, he, a lone residue at the school, rushed toward his village which would require him minimum of five hours of walking uphill. Time to time, he looked and cried sighting his girl's village! He wished there was no such thing as meeting which entails departing someday, and even worse such a departure. He knew how easy it was to develop a feeling of love during such a short span of time at the school, but how tough it was to stay departed. Long after having left that school, he still remembers how torturous that moment was, and every time he remembers, it deprives him of a joyous moment he would be having. Feeling so hopeless about the whole thing of meeting and departing, he accepted it as the part of the life, and particularly his ill-fate. Certainly he doesn't want anybody else in this world to put up with such a miserable life, and for that he prays to the Triple Gem to bless each and everyone with happy life and sound relationship, and particularly to his 'beloved lost' one to have a happy and healthy life. Yet he still wonders "How dare she leave me alone in this world after knowing how much I love her!"

P.S. It is a simi-fictional story, originally written in 2005.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Conversation with a curious eye doctor!

“When in Rome, do as the Romans do”?

Happy LOSAR (New Year)!