A Bad Feeling! - Part III

My only hope was on the hot stream to do the job of ‘cooking’ the rice while we make our way to the monastery. Other was, of course, a miracle to happen! I believed in god. I cursed myself so much that I hesitated to even join the team. I didn’t know what or how to confess the truth. Through the phone, I hinted them the worst but it was for them to unearth the hint. Nevertheless, it was not going to fix the problem. When I reached the spot where my friends were believed to be waiting, I could barely breathe. I am so particular about time and I become impatient when people fail to stick to time. Today though, I felt like a hypocrite. When I saw madam Karma, I didn’t know what to say as she sounded lil mad while calling. But to my surprise, she was the only one waiting there. Upon enquiry, it seemed like others were still on the bed. We waited there for next 30 minutes or so. That time, I frowned at Karma saying that if she didn’t call me to hurry up, I could have even cooked new rice. She hasn’t expected it to be worse. Sensing worse from my tone, she reached out to the bag where the rice cooker was and pulled the lid open. She didn’t overact (good on her), but I could figure out from her expression that she saw the worst. She plainly remarked, “It looks fine, may be water wasn’t enough?” Soon everybody came and we set off for Barshong. I could make out from their looks that they had a rough night, yet they were pumped up for the eventful day. But I was in a deep pain of worry. I felt really terrible and ashamed. Till then Karma was the only one who knew the condition of food, but I knew rest would eventually see and the worst, might have to come back empty-stomach. The fact that another friend madam Kezang had brought rice comforted me but it didn’t justify me to be happy while failing on my task. They were talking, laughing and enjoying the moments, but I was with those thoughts of spoiled rice. How will they react, how will we eat, how will they think of me hereafter, will they laugh on it, or rather angry on it, those were the thoughts that haunted me throughout. I have never felt this bad in a long time!

As eventual moments are bound by time, the lunch time came and they had already taken the food to a nice place by the stupa overlooking the Barshong village. By the time Tshewang and I reached on the place, some of them had already started serving themselves. I was so ashamed and beaten up by the thoughts. Nobody seems to dig in from my rice cooker, and that was clear enough an indication. Not knowing how to tell or rather what to tell I took out my camera and clicked on each one of them. I was the last one to serve. I thought I was the one who has created that mess, so if there is anyone to clear up the mess, it would be only me! I picked a plate and a spoon and dug out the half cooked rice, plateful and helped myself. I didn’t add pressure on the rice brought by Kezang as it was barely enough for them. That was why I had decided to serve myself at last. While everybody was helping themselves, I struggled to find a tiniest of ‘place’ to hide my face J. What a shame! I would never forget in a long time. Thankfully, though, nobody, except for one, remarked anything on the spoiled food, at least directly. Rather they quietly had the food as if nothing was wrong. Since nobody was willing to remark on it and that I knew too well that nobody had failed to notice that, after much hardship I finally apologized for the food. I begged their forgiveness over and again. Thankfully, they were kind enough to say that it was cooked fine and that there was not a point to worry about. I knew it was just a word of comfort and hardly meant it. Despite all these havocs, the session was finally over. At least everybody knew the truth and saw the worst, so I sought solace in those light breeze kept blowing from the valley below. I promised and assured them that I would not repeat such ‘offense’ in future. I promised that I would cook from evening itself if such a situation ever arises in future. Sumjay sir, a senior most colleague in our group made a point for future direction; he suggested that if such events are to be planned in future, the information will have to be floated well in advance so that everybody would be able to come on time and that nobody have to put up with the half-cooked rice. Everybody agreed in unison and we set back to our respective destination.

A Bad Feeling! Part-II

Therefore, the day at such a heavenly place is a dream of many. I had dreamt for a few years, and thanks to the initiatives of my friends, I could finally be there. I had every reason to be happy and ecstatic about the day and the eventual destination. But I was not! I was disturbed by a thought, which I never intended to think but had to. Every single minute was a mental torture for me! I looked around to see my friends having best of their times, which I totally envied. I wished to be in their shoes but I knew I couldn’t. I was a severely disturbed lad on the block of hundreds of devotees. Hands firmly clasped into a form of lotus flower, I tried visualizing Buddha and Guru Rinpoche in an effort to drive away those bothering thoughts. Although I was surrounded by hundreds of people, I felt so lonely. If it wasn’t for my camera, I would have felt even lonelier; it was the camera that gave me the best of companion on that day. Not that my friends ignored me, I know they would never do that to me, but I felt disconnected myself. I clicked and clicked catching best of their poses. Occasionally, I popped inside the frame and faked a smile. The natural smile, which I wanted to bring it over, didn’t materialize. As the Rinpoche graciously administered the Phupai Wang, I tried visualizing a phurba-spiritual dragger-as instructed. Those were the only moments I was freed of the disturbing thoughts. For a moment, I was lost in a captivation of artistic brilliance that giant and tall pillars wore in the prayer hall. I felt a deep pang of shiver and goose bumps upon seeing the gigantic Statues of Buddha, Guru Rinpoche and Karmapa. While being lost in such thoughts, the Rinpoche had already wrapped up the wang and monks and people alike were queuing towards him to get blessed. As we snaked (or perhaps snail-ed) towards the Rinpoche I scanned around and in return got amazed by every bit of artistic richness of the hall. But all these amazing moments and time came to an abrupt halt by the announcement made by a senior Monk on a microphone. He didn’t offend me, though. In fact, he was making an announcement for the devotees gathered to have lunch at the monastery which was been arranged and sponsored by someone. It was the mention of the ‘food’ that brought me a great tremor. By the each passing minute and by the passage of each moment gearing toward the lunchtime, my heart raced and my adrenaline rose. 

Well, what is with the food that made me so worried about? Okay, this is what actually happened. Earlier, I was tasked to prepare rice while rest of them prepared curry. I agreed and I didn’t foresee anything going wrong with that, particularly so because now rice cooker does the job! Right? Wrong! I had also caught up the World Cup 2014 fever and its inaugural match between home nation Brazil and Croatia was already on air. So, I would be a jerk to not stay up late, right? Wrong! I stationed comfortably in front of the TV and got lost completely in the frenzy of the opening match. By the time I realized it was already 3 AM. That means, I had barely 3 hours to sleep, that too assuming that my tenant/immediate neighbors lower their TV volume and their noise. 9:30 AM was the time set by my friends.

Around 7 AM, my roommate Karma who was leaving for Delhi on the same day was already wide awake. Else he would miss the bus. Since we weren’t going to meet until next semester, I wanted to bide goodbye and see him off. I quickly shook off the sleep and accompanied him to the road point. It was then 8:30 AM, the time at which the bus normally reaches Kanglung. We waited there patiently but as if it was to mess my day up, the bus roared came only at 9 AM! I felt restless because I had yet to cook rice. On an average it takes good 30 minutes or so for rice to be fully cooked and be ready to serve, so, I barely had enough time. I began to really worry, now. I rushed back, kicked open the door and quickly stuffed in 8 cups of rice and kept it on a cook. I was racing against the fleeing time. I murmured prayers and entrusted the rice cooker fully for the task. Fingers crossed. While it was carrying the last minute task, I watched the recap of the inaugural match that handed fan favorite Team Brazil a commending win despite the shaky start conceding its own goal! I almost fainted when my phone ranged. Not a wrong number nor a misdial. It was my friend, yes, calling me to come faster as ‘everybody’ was waiting for me. I nearly broke down then and there. Thankfully, the light on the cooker has shifted from cook to warm. Lil relief, I opened the lid only to be greeted by barely-cooked rice. It looked like they were all angry and yelling at me. I froze, literally. Not knowing what to do next, I put another 5 cups of rice into a pressure cooker thinking that it might not take much time. While it was yet to make a first whistle, I dressed up and made sure camera was working fine. I thought it was the first whistle, so I kept it on till the second whistle to blow. But little did I know that I was waiting for yet another disaster. Since it was not whistling, I gave a quick tap on the handle and instantly it whistled and off came gushing the smell of burnt rice, filled the entire room within no time. Excellent! This was exactly what I wanted to not happen!!!! This was even more worst the uncooked rice, so I tugged in the uncooked rice along with the container to a bag and hurried up to the place where my friends were supposedly thought to be waiting.


....to be cont'd

A Bad Feeling! Part - I

I have never felt this bad in a long time. The day merited a much better mood and thoughts for it was an auspicious day of Buddha’s parnirvana. For Buddhist, the day is so special that almost everybody refrains from doing regular household chores/duties and visit holy sites and monasteries to offer prayers and butter lamps. It is believed that if one engages in good activities, no matter how small it might be, the merit gained is particularly enormous on such auspicious days. Of course, by the same token if one commits sin, it is going to be enormous as well. For that matter, I guess, the day is considered special to remember Buddha’s profound life and unparallel deeds. Since the day is considered a national holiday, it is also an opportunity for people alike to get together and catch up. 

It was exactly what I was bound for, yesterday. The day before, just a moment before I retired to the bed, a friend of mine called me up asking if I would be interested to join them on a trip to Barshong Goenpa, perched right above Trashigang-S/jonkhar highway about 15 KM drive from Kanglung. The magnificent lhakhang that overlooks the Barshong village below is, from my naïve take, one of the finest lhakhang ever built in eastern Bhutan in terms of its amazing grandeur. In 3 years I have traveled through that route several times, and every time I did, it has never failed to amaze me. I have also heard a lot about it-all were stories of amazement, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I could actually be in person. The story that I heard and the idea that I had formed in my mind while traveling beneath were overly underrated. One of my friends once remarked, “Tashigang Dzong is a joke when comparing with Barshong Lhakhang”.  Now I believe him. I think the courtyard it has is also going to give a stiff competition with the famous Tendrel Thang, adjacent to Trashichhodzong. As I made my way in, I couldn’t feel anything but a total amazement. Hundreds of devotees had already gathered in the gigantic hall in which a ritual/puja dedicated to the Buddha dharma was presided over by His Eminence Zuri Rinpoche. 

His Eminence is well known as the reincarnate of Neten Bakula, one of the sixteen Arhats. In 1959, His Holiness the sixteenth Gyalwang Karmapa Rangjung Ripai Dorji and the Seventh Zuri Rinpoche Karma Dho-Ngak Choechi Singye had arrived in Bhutan. Later, the Seventh Zuri Rinpoche passed away at Dawathang, Bumthang. The present Zuri Rinpoche is the eighth incarnate and was born into descendents of Terton Pema Lingpa’s family. The newborn was recognized as a true incarnate of Zuri Rinpochen by His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa and named Karma Mijur Tenpae Gyaltshen Jigme Gocha. According to the pamphlet provided on the day, by 1993 the Rinpoche has paid visits to various countries viz. Hongkong, China, Singapore, and Australia teaching and initiating transmissions on essentials of Dharma. Through such visits, he gathered followers of Buddhism and had instituted a number of meditation centers. His Eminence also advocates on environment protection and has initiated animal saving programs. 

Upon the request of the people of Barshong for the benefit of the sentient beings, the Rinpoche constructed Karma Thegzum Dechenling Monastery and consecrated in October 2010. The monastery currently houses over hundred monks solely supported by Rinpoche in studying Shedra and dratshang. What makes this Buddhist college/school unique is that it provides a wholesome education to the monks in the sense it also teaches a unique Bhutanese culture such as paintings, crafts and sculptures, yoga and computer courses apart from the regular studies on Buddhist philosophy. 

...to be cont'd...

The Day!

Whenever I feel tired of my work or lose hope in it, I pull out a bunch of papers containing feedbacks provided every semester by the students and start reading word-by-word and line-by-line. I don’t have the best of feedbacks, that’s not my point, after all I am a beginner and expecting best feedbacks isn’t a reasonable thing. I know I have a long way to go to achieve that. But their feedbacks keep me going and hold me on my toes. Most of them are genuine and constructive in nature. As I stand in the classrooms doing my job, I am reminded and guided by their feedbacks. In fact, they are my true source of inspiration not other way round. Sometimes, they betray my effort and trust but I choose to focus on majority of good doings than whine over minority of bad doings. Of course, I lose control and cool. I scold them for not paying attention, not turning up on time and writing exams carelessly. But I do so all with a deep sense of care and love for them. I want them to succeed and go out with all goals fulfilled ready to take on any jobs that job markets have to offer. By the course of time, when I see them showing some improvement, being on time and showing the sense of belongingness to the college properties, I get that inexpressible satisfaction and joy. The best thing about being a teacher is the opportunity to see our students grow physically, intellectually and graduate as a complete package.

One such moment to rejoice is the teacher’s day. May 2^nd it is, the day celebrated throughout Bhutan as the Teachers’ Day coinciding with the birth anniversary of the late third Druk Gyelpo Jigme Dorji Wangchuk, who introduced modern Education in Bhutan. On this day the teachers are remembered and ‘thanked’ for their selfless effort towards making difference in others lives-the students. Like every other schools, Sherubtse College also celebrates in our own way. We (teachers) were accorded highest of honor starting from the grand reception to a great visual feast through various cultural items.

With this year’s teacher’s day, I have had the privilege to attend the event for the second time and it made me extremely proud of what I am doing for living.  What makes the day even more special is a number of students coming up and expressing their heartfelt thanks. I should say this day is the only day my phone is so engaged. J My otherwise dormant cell phone comes to live as it caters to a numerous calls and text messages from the students, past and present. Even though my phone complains of exhausting memory, I hesitate to delete those messages even after the day has been long gone and here I produce some of the messages, which I received this year’s teacher’s day. 

“May you become the inspiration of today and da dream of tomorrow as you stand infront of thousand eyes….a very happy teachers day!”

“Gud morning sir….v learnd so many things meeting u….v ve seen dat v r nt d worst cus u encouraged us….in wy v r beta everyday cus of u…u ve tuahgt us 2b sincere enuf bu duin uaslf….thanku 4 everything sir…happy teachers day…may evry wishes of uaz b fulfilled….”

“Hy sir, wish u gudmoring & hapi teachers day 2 u, mi pray & wishes willa lyz wid u…tkcr.”

“Hapi teacher’s day la sir….thank u 4 ua knowledge..support n everything la….may god bless you n may u alys b hapi la…once again thanq 4 being light in da darkness la sir….”

“A grt teacher takes a hand, opens a mind, and touches a heart” with this I wish u a very happy teachers day”

“Hapi teachers day”

“Happy Teachers’ days sir. N thank u for everything..”

“Happy Teacher day wish u happy life ahead”

“Happy teachers day to u sir. May this day be remember and cherish always. You gave us wings to fly high. We shall never forget ur Teaching. Thank u sir!!”

“Wish u a happy teachers day…..enjoy ahead”

“Happy Teacher’s day. Thank you my teacher for your wisdom n lesons that I ever hada great chance to enjoy n receive from very authentic teacher. Long life 4 all my great teachers.”

“Sir ur caring mind, loving heart, wisdom speech n helping hands had always kept us going our life. Thank u for every things u gave to us.  Happy teacher’s day la.”

“Wish you a very Happy teacher’s day….hope you are enjoying the day….have a great day and best wishes la…”

“Happy teacher’s day. Thank you sir…”

“I am so sorry sir. I am late but not too late I think. So happy teachers day la. May god bless you and may you all live long. Thank you for sending me where I am today. You hold a permanent special place in me la.”

“Wish u a very happy teacher’s day…good luck 4 d days 2 cum.”

“Dear Sir,

I looked in temples, churches, and mosques. But I found the Divine in my teachers, perhaps the classroom. Thank you sir for always encouraging and you that one of a kind who fits the description that “teacher teaches from heart”. All I want to say is “Happy teachers day” and never lose hope in use.”

“Without you we would have been lost, thank you sir for guiding, inspiring and making us what we are today. HAPPY TEACHERS DAY sir……sorry for delay wishing….”

All I could say in return was “Thank you so much!” and of course, “I have high hopes from you all and I know for sure that one day you all will do me proud.”